


the crow and the butterfly

by lemonheadlester



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Parenthood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-08 23:01:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17395361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonheadlester/pseuds/lemonheadlester
Summary: Taye has to make a tough life decision. She has to stop hoarding her feelings and talk to someone she trusts, so she turns to her father. Luckily for her, he was once in a similar situation.Inspired by  “the crow and the butterfly” by shinedown





	the crow and the butterfly

**Author's Note:**

> After costume calamity I realized I’m love for parent!phan so here’s a fic where dnp have a much older kid than the previous one.

A sigh of frustration follows the sound of a bag filled with folders and binders being tossed to the bed and bouncing off the side, falling to the ground with a thunk that echoes throughout the house. 

Taye flops onto the bed carelessly, legs tangling in the nearest fuzzy blanket as she let's her arm fall limp besides her, fingers clutching a single piece of paper.

How could this happen? It was a dream, only a dream. She could never actually follow a dream once it becomes reality, because it was all so perfect in her mind. No, this can't happen to her now. She had a plan and a dream, and she can't decide which one to follow anymore, not now the both are an option.

And there's something else holding her back, or  _ someone  _ else, rather. 

She feels trapped, stuck in a tug-a-war between an unknown void and a safety net. She can't decide which way to go, whether she should trust her instincts or not. 

Holding the acceptance letter loosely in her fingers, she cries. She cries and cries because she's never been more confused in her entire life. 

It was always a dream of hers to study abroad, to try new things and to travel. She gets that from her father, the one who pushes her to take chances and follow her dreams.

But she has her doubts and fears. She gets her weariness from her other father, the one who's strayed away from his own dream once it twice and had to find his way back. 

Taye knows both her father's’ stories quite well, so  _ why?  _ She asks herself.  _ Why can't I seem to learn from them.  _

She rolls over on her bed, groaning into her pillow. 

“Taye?” A voice calls to her from down the hall, easily heard through her wide open door.

“Taye, honey?” Her father, Dan, steps hesitantly into the room. “Are you alright?”

She responds with a muffled sigh. 

“You can talk to me, but I won't force you to.” Dan assures her, sitting down next to her carefully and placing a hand on her shoulder. “Just tell me if you'd rather me stay or leave.” 

“I made it in.” Taye blurts, turning the paper over to travel the letter of acceptance.

Dan is confused. This is her  _ dream  _ university. He's incredibly proud but he just can't understand why Taye is so upset about having the chance to go study abroad when it's something she couldn't stop talking about for months.

He remembers his university adventures.  _ Maybe she's afraid she'll make a mistake, like I did.  _ He thinks. There’s a chance. After all, she's been unusually quiet the past couple of days.

“Taysie,” He brushes his hand over her shoulder gently. “If you’re having second thoughts it’s okay. You don’t even have to make a decision for a while.”

“No, I want to go.”

“I know those aren’t tears of joy.” Dan says simply. “So what happened?”

“Sash didn’t make it.”

_ Oh. _

Shasha, or Shash. Taye’s best friend since she was five years old and someone she had planned to do everything with. They applied to the uni together, and it was  _ Taye _ who wasn’t expecting to make it in. No one expected this, not even Dan. 

“Did she tell you that?”

Taye takes a deep breaths, letting it out in a stagger.

“We opened them together.”

Dan’s eyes widen. He could only imagine how hard that must have been for her, her happiness diminishing instantly as her friends dreams were torn apart before her eyes, as their plans vanished into thin air. 

“Oh, Taye I’m so sorry.” He comforts, pulling her into a hug. “I know how much it meant to you guys that you went together.”

Taye bursts into tears, rolling her head against Dan’s arm and crying into his blue sweater. Dan swears she hasn’t shown this much emotion since she was a small child and he and Phil had just adopted her. Even a few years back when her beloved dog, Bella, died, she hadn’t even shed a tear. As far as her friends were concerned, she had no emotions.

But Dan knew better. Taye is his daughter, after all.

Part of him was thankful she even let him see this much. As close as they’ve always been, communication was never one of Taye’s strong suits. 

“What do I do?” She sniffles. “It won’t be the same without her, I mean, I feel guilty just considering whether I should go or not.”

“Well, this reminds me of when-”

“Oh god, not another one of your weird university stories, Dad.” She whines jokingly. “I think the one about the cheese and the rowing guy traumatized me.” 

Dan laughs. “No, this isn’t as bad as cheese.” 

He lets his daughter snuggle into his grasp comfortably, something she hasn’t done as much now that she’s older, except of course on movie nights and occasions like this. She wipes her tears with her sleeve and sighs, waiting for the reassurance she seems to always get in some way when it comes to talking to either of her fathers. 

“I remember when I was trying to decide whether or not to drop out of uni, and if it wasn’t for your dad I don’t know what I would have ended up doing. “

Dan pauses, taking a moment to reminisce before turning his attention back to the tear soaked teenage face staring up at him from an angle that strains her glassy eyes. 

“I was at a crossroads in my life, just like you are now. I had to decide if I should keep doing something that felt safe at the time, as much as I hated it, or to make the scariest decision ever and try to make something of what I actually enjoyed.”

“It was hard, because I wanted to something that would make my family proud, but I had no dream to become a lawyer or pursue law in any way. I let pressure be the deciding factor in my life for a while, that is until I dropped out.”

“I remember talking to your father about this.” He continues. “He basically told me everything I’m telling you now, to keep it short, but he taught me something important.”

“Don’t be afraid to take a risk, Taye.” He concludes. “When I did it, yes I was terrified, but it was the best damn decision I ever made.”

“But how do I know if I’m making the right choice?” she questions in a mumble.

“I’ll be completely honest with you, you don’t.” Dan admits honestly. “I didn’t know after a while if I had, but eventually it all made sense.”

“But you had Dad.” Taye argues. “What if Sash and I grow apart when we live so far away from each other.”

“You have the power of the internet, young grasshopper.” Dan jokes. “I understand it’s scary, hell it was for me, but you’ll be okay, however you decide.”

“But long distance is hard. What if she decides she doesn’t want to do it.”

“You don’t just decide not to be friends with someone anymore, Taye. You guys have been together for so long, and I’m sure as disappointed as she is, she’ll support you and whatever you want to do.”

Despite Dan’s reassurance, it doesn’t fix everything. Taye still feels as lost as ever. 

She lets out a tiny hiccup. “I don’t know what I want to do.”

“You’ll figure it out, it’ll get better.” Dan soothes her with a soft voice. She looks up at him in wonder.

“And if it doesn’t?”

He chuckles, ruffling her hair. 

“It will.” He promises. “One way or another, it will.” 

“So what do I do.” Taye whispers, her exhaustion clear to Dan through her voice.

He squeezes his arm gently where it’s draped over her shoulders. “That’s your decision.” He sighs. “I’m sure you’ll make the right one, whatever it may be.”

Dan is not a perfect parent. He knows that. He also knows that no matter what Taye does, he will support her. Even if he doesn’t agree, because even if he can’t give the best advice, supporting her in whatever she decides to do is the best thing he can do, and he believes that’s enough.

He’s had many conversations with Phil about this. There are nights where he just doesn’t think he’s as good of a father as Phil, that when Taye goes off to uni they’ll grow apart, and he won’t be able to help her anymore.

As Dan leaves Taye’s room, he sees Phil in their room at the end of the hall, smiling at him. He can hear his words from about a month ago as he stares back.

_ “You don’t have to have the experience to help her, Dan. All you have to do is care about her, and You do.” _

He does care about her. He and Phil both. He still does have fears about what might happen when Taye leaves, but Phil will always be there to assure him that he’s done the right thing, that he didn’t screw up.

He makes his way from Taye’s room to his own, to Phil. He sits at the edge of the bed and lets Phil comfort him and wrap his arms around him from behind. He presses a kiss to his head, and he doesn’t even have to ask what happened. That’s a question for tomorrow.

For now, he has high hopes for the what the future may bring.

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on tumblr @lemonheadlester


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